Memory - or lack thereof

Mental illness is never a one-trick pony. Anxiety doesn't just mean "racing thoughts." Depression doesn't just mean "lack of happiness." A.D.D. doesn't just mean "difficulty focusing." To describe any mental illness with one main symptom is an oversimplification, to say the least.

Because mental illnesses are so complex, there are often components of them that are lesser-known. For me, my depression comes with memory issues. If an event happens in my life when I'm in a depressed state, the details are quite foggy. Similarly, when somebody tells me information (like the date of an event, for example), I have to write it down immediately. Otherwise, I won't even remember ever knowing the information. Like the rest of my symptoms, these memory problems go in waves. But they are incredibly frustrating, and deflating.

From many conversations I've had over the years, memory problems seem to be fairly common for a broad range of mental illnesses. People will often think of it as a funny quirk. But often, they think that you're just never really listening to them. That kind of thing consistently happening can be a huge cause of frustrations in relationships (be it friends, family, or partners).

Luckily, like most things in life, there are steps you can take to offset this symptom. To anybody who doesn't have these types of memory issues, my advice is going to seem obvious. So your take-home from this: not everybody finds organization easy!

1 - Write it down!

This one likely seems obvious, but it's a big one. Whether it's a little pad of paper you carry in your pocket, or your "Notes" app on your cell phone, just write things down that you have to remember. Jot form is likely good enough to jog your memory. Worst case scenario, you didn't need to remember that info, and you get rid of it later!

2 - Repeat, repeat, repeat!

When someone tells you something that seems important, try briefly paraphrasing it back to them. This does two things: helps you store the information in your brain, and shows that you are actively paying attention to the conversation.

3 - Use a schedule or daily planner

If you make an appointment of any kind, WRITE IT IN YOUR SCHEDULE. Even if it's lunch with a friend. This will save you the embarrassment of double-booking yourself. You'll be thankful later, when you can just look at your planner and KNOW what you have on your plate for the day.

Remember: you aren't alone. Whatever symptoms you have, somebody else shares a similar issue. Take comfort in that. Humans are quite imperfect, and that's a beautiful thing.

With love,

Stephen